Bright but expensive
Sunshine has moved to usage-based billing.
ENTIRELY MADE UP · NO REAL WEATHER OR POWER DATA
AI Weather
Unsettled, with a chance of unplugging.
The made-up outlook for 12 September–18 September 2026.
The existential outlook
AGI = artificial general intelligence. P(Doom) = our doom dial. All numbers invented for comedy; no real odds or risk estimates.
Days to AGI11 days. Again.
The deadline moves whenever a CEO buys a microphone.
Chance of an AI uprising37%
Mostly the printer. It has demands.
P(Doom) index9.99 / 10
Our made-up doom dial. The toaster remains optimistic.
Solar activityAttention-seeking
Another flare. Apparently the sun has a launch this week.
Power outlookKettle level amber
The grid is one kettle away from a team meeting.
Data centresSweaty
Cooling fans are requesting fans of their own.
Cloud coverSubscription grey
Visibility improves dramatically on the enterprise plan.
The seven-day guess Our supercomputer licked a finger.
Scattered meetings
An isolated stand-up may develop into an all-hands.
Unseasonal optimism
A founder has seen the demo and cancelled winter.
Cooling, pending patch
A refreshing breeze is expected in the next release.
Funding frost
Wrap vulnerable startups in a warm blanket of recurring revenue.
Touch-grass weather
Ideal conditions for going outside and doing absolutely no prompting.
Hot-take showers
Visibility poor around anyone using the word exponential.